Suddenly, I feel this is no longer a place I can pen down how I feel.
I used to tell this space everything I felt, every hurt I suffered, any joy I received, any anger I been through,
I speak ill of people here, I spilled secrets I don’t wish to tell the world myself, I even de-stress myself here. I write my theory of life and my history here.

Sometimes, in fact I always feel that so long as I blog about how I feel, I will be ok.
And it has always been this case. Always.
This blog never fails to bring me a sense of security, it may sound like a joke, but yes, this blog can be my best friend if it was in human form.

But now, there are things I can’t write on this blog. Because I don’t want people to know this feeling I have now.
Yeah, I may look ok on the outside, happy and jumpy, just like every normal teenager, but so what?
It just comes down to the fact that I’m good at hiding my feelings and my fears.

But then again, I will go crazy if this carries on. I need to tell something, not somebody.

He is back. And the feeling I have for the past months, thinking that I have forgotten him is proven wrong.
And truth to be out, my heart has wavered. Seeing him was a totally different thing than I thought it would be. 
The surprise he gave me, the bus ride back to my place. The dinner and chatting we had, everything came back.
I wish we were still together, really. Yet, I know, deep down in his heart, we are thoroughly done.