From young, you were the one who taught me to let people have their way, to give in to people and to be kind to them.
Yet, now I am the one getting scolded for being too soft??? Wtf is this?

There are some people in this world who I don’t mind them letting me take advantage of me alrights, and you happen to be just one of them but that does not imply that I do not know how to stand up for myself ok. I just don’t want to create troubles, unnecessary troubles.

I won’t feel sour when I am left alone get it? Do you get it? I am cool with being alone. Heck! I have been alone since what? Birth? & you ask me if I feel sour for being left alone? Who were the ones who left me alone at home with nothing to play with, nobody to talk to? You were the ones ok! I am freaking used to being on my own because I have always been. I don’t turn to you in times of troubles, do I? Everytime you ask if things were alright, I would choose to say the lie, why? Because I don’t like it when you step in! You just have the ability to make things worse and let the whole world hate me. I have enough of the world hating me already ok!

&! PLEASE! FOR THE ONE LAST TIME!
Except the fact that I am a fucking polytechnic student already! I have been in TP for what? 2years? 2nd year already!
It is my 2nd year already, so get over it dude! I had it with everytime you telling me how disappointed you are! I had it ok! You just got to say it right? Just because I am the first in this freaking family to get into a POLYTECHINC, you have to make me feel like I owe the family something. What? Did I throw the family honor away or something? NO! I didn’t. You should be thanking God that I am not in ITE because I failed my fucking maths. You should feel blessed by the Gods that I still can enter a polytechnic, and I still can get into Design which isn’t all so bad. So screw that thought into your mind can!? For once! And so what if I got 198 for PSLE! Hello! HELLLO!!! I am 18years old! A freaking 18 years old. PSLE was like how many years ago? 6years ago? And you are still harping on it? I bet my primary school have already changed their own staff system already but you are still harping on my fucking PSLE results. What the fuck is this???????? And excuse me, another thing familiar? What is that? OH! I remember now! I was the also the first one to fail a subject in primary school! And you are still reminding me about it. Why cant you just take that I cant study? Tell me! Who was it who totally didn’t go for one of his O’levels?! That’s like 10times worse can?! At least I don’t choose to escape from my exams ok! At least I tried alright.

I am not the only one working till 2am. I know people who work till 5am or better yet, don’t sleep at all! So stop making a mountain out of a molehole. And I don’t give a fuck about you working only 8hours! You are working at a time to time basis, and when you come back, there is basically nothing for you to do except to bathe, eat, watch TV and sleep! You think I don’t want a life like this? Who will reject a life like this? You tell me. I’m such a TV addict, you know it but how long have I really not watch the TV? The only time I watch the TV is during my meal time which is dinner time and dinner barely last for 45mins. It’s not even enough for me to finish a freaking show. & where am I off to after that? MY BLOODY ROOM! & what am I doing? Going through websites after websites looking for inspirations, I won’t deny I will surf facebook, msn and blogshop but that doesn’t mean I’m not working. Doesn’t mean you don’t see it, means I’m not working. You saw my works before. You can’t say I’m not working.

You think I wouldn’t choose to sleep early when I can? Do you even know that I can’t sleep even when I’m lying on the bed, thinking of nothing? I will keep turning around but I just can’t get to sleep? Do you know? No! You don’t! Because if you do know about it, you will again make a mountain out of a molehole. Send me to the doctors or something. I don’t know.

You wanna smash my com? Go ahead! Do it. Then I will quit school and when asked why, I will totally tell my CM that my parents are not gonna provide me with any resources to get my work done since IMD relies on the com way too much as compared to others. So I have no choice. It’s either I quit school, or fare badly, or probably because I can’t get my work done and I get kicked out of school. Then I bring one more headline to the family – the first in the family who can’t enter a university. *claps claps claps* Or, the first in the family who gets kick out of school ? oh, no wait, should be the first in the family to be unable to complete her education! *claps harder* I should deserve a record for this, getting so many first!

You want me to learn how to reject others? You taught me not to hurt others? What do you want? Isn’t it contradicting?
You mould me to what I am today. You can’t push the whole responsibility to me!

P/s. I’m kidding about the smashing com and quitting school part. I just need to get it off me.