I am going through a roll of a time of this year..bad roll though.
You know, times like everything is not going the right way, where you meet hills and mountains you have to climb and deep oceans you have to swim but it aren’t just doing all this so things can be better, it isn’t any longer about trying your best and having a cup of coffee(or a milo in my case) can chirp you up. It’s like when you start thinking about the day and then you sigh, and continue thinking again. Yeah, everyone has those days and so do I.
The only problem is how people manage it and how long does each one goes.
I wonder how long mine will take. And best thing? Just as I thought I have one thing of my mind. :(
I have been going to the hospital quite abit more than usual lately, in fact I just got back not long ago, which also explains why I have not been blogging much, or more properly. Grandad(father’s side) is in the hospital and now even my cousin is admitted in. Not a very good sign. Sigh.
Relationship with my parents just got worse, and I really don’t know why, it’s so sudden and I see myself crying all the time because of it.
Just as today, I was on the phone with mum and she starting railing and all and I couldn’t help it, I just cry in front of the girls. And now? My parents are quarreling themselves. Double sigh.
I actually feel helpless these days. About my life. Like shouldn’t I have resign to my fate that this is how my life would be weather I like it or not.
I used to depend on Ronney alot in the matter of this but like what Celeste said, he is no longer my boyfriend, I should start calling him by his name instead of my boyfriend. And somehow, that reminder got me thinking for awhile. Like hmmm, yeah, I’m single, hehe.
Oh, And when I look back at all the posts I wrote about me hating them for scolding me and all, I actually wished that they scold me rather than they quarrel themselves. Yeah, that’s how I am.
And yes, I also think it’s time I learn how to lean back.
& contrary to what everyone is saying, I am stress about P2 because of the freaking coda slider thing.
I totally didn’t expect it to be this complicated. And I hardly have a brain slow mo, but when Elvis explained it to me today, I had it. Wait, Yong had it too, so is Elvis the one thats making stuff complicated? Oh well. I need to learn it by this week. Promise. Because without it, my group is dead.
Ohkay, enough already.
Nights.
