I’m like in an entire state of confusion now.
Everything I wanted to do just seemed so wrong. 
I can’t do this, but I want to do it, yet I am reminded of the consequences.

What the hell is wrong now?
Still not enough? Define long for me will ya?
A week, a month, or maybe a year?

To some people, a day is too long.
To some people, a minute is too long.
What is your definition of long?

I can’t stand it anymore. I have never tried doing this for this long.
The most was 3 days.
And this one whole week, a promise was broken.
Day after day after day.

And then I start wondering about when people said not to make promises when one is happy.
I guess they are right then. Happens all the time doesn’t it?
But I trusted, I chose to believe, look where did it land me at?

Alright, I know I said that I am trying to learn how to be happy with the things around me, with my current situation.
But its tougher than I thought it would be. Why does it seem so easy for you? Tell me if I’m wrong.

Something is not right.
Something is missing.
Things should not be the way it is.
I’m tired of all this shit crap.

So from now on, I am not going to put that thing near me. That thing that buzzes.
I’m going to abstain from it as far as possible. Because you know why?
This is simply not the way it should be. & if I miss it, I am going to say it’s fate.

Yes, I fear, I’m afraid, I’m scared but I guess it’s not the right time to be.
I need to face it when it comes. I choose not to believe and not to trust anymore.

Someone got to understand that things must be earned to be gained.
Someone got to know that it hurts.  
Someone got to get that fact that nothing is everything.