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When I over-estimated,
Wednesday, May 5, 2010 @ 12:25 AM

This time, I really over-estimated myself. I thought too highly of myself. Every single word hurts, everything, I can’t seem to take it anymore. I wanted this so much but it seemed like I destroyed it. Every single muthafucking thing hurts, and it hurts so badly, I think I can just stop breathing. How did I get myself into this state?

All the tears rolling down my eyes now, I don’t even bother or want to wipe them away. I just want to let them flow. At least I know that I still love him. I read back all my archives, specially the ones of last year May and June. I am really afraid the whole thing would repeat itself. & I think it would.

I, I don’t even know how to express it anymore. I just want to be alone now. Just let me do my stuff and let myself get busy. I don’t want to be reminded of the past. I don’t want to go back to those days when I have to read his messages and then cry myself to sleep. I don’t want this to end but yet I feel it would be better for him if this was to end, really.

Both of us are tired from this relationship. I know. What we have are only memories from the past 6 months, only 6 months. ONLY. Like I said, I over-estimated myself this time around. & I guess, I took him for granted.

Now I feel selfish, why can’t I think for him more? Just keep it to myself and things will be fine. Why did I explode and cause this to happen? Why did I have to let this happen? If I could just bear with it, things would be all right. I didn’t reach my limit, or did I? Sigh.

I even gone to the extent whereby I rather avoid him than face him because I rather want this relationship to exist than face the fact that it may end. I really don’t want it to end but I know for sure is that if this continues, we will end.

It has been so long since we exchanged sweet words to each other and I really wonder, weather these sweet words would still come.

I miss him so much. I miss all the dates we had, all the small actions he did, all the humor he gave, all the care and concern he showered me with and not forgetting all the love we shared, but why does it seems so far away from me? Will it come back? Or maybe this is my punishment for taking him for granted.

I just told him to leave me alone. I want to be left alone. For now. From him and this relationship.








Priscilia Rui
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, & smarter than you think"

I'm a 19 years old brunette who adores Winnie the Pooh, studies design, enjoys shopping and believes in a Greater Power.

I won't deny I am materialistic, I mean, everybody is.

Lastly, I play with -- Twitter / Tumblr / Facebook


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