I really don’t know if it is a good thing or not. Block 2 is rather slack. –_-
It’s the end of second week le leh and I wonder why I don’t feel as busy as I was during Block 1. Is this even normal? I expected this block to be fiercer than the 1st one, but it just turned out to be the other way around. –_____-

Block 2 is like, 3D Art Fundamental and Communicating Design Ideas. I’m so slack la. First assignment for ComDI is like finally over. I have taken a certain degree of liking for Binab, like OMG. :0 I actually thought Binab was nice. Wow. I prefer Binab to Yeo Chee Kiong alot more. I dun like Yeo Yeo now. It’s like he has this look that is super-ly pervert and you don’t know what is he thinking la…  He will like look scan you, that eyes. OMG. 

So anyway, I’m so slack now, I have to look for things to do. And I’m so diligent la…I decided to practise my perspective drawing over the weekends…
and I no need to see Binab face for 4 days!!! Whee~~!!! And And And, my friends all having term test. Muahaha. I shall slack in front of them..

Gtg. BYEBYE.
p/s  Made a new friend today, guy, very nice. haha. Thanks Est for intro! Love ya, babe.

:D

Ok. I’m blogging now at 12.56am. This is the first time I slept so late just because of the need to complete assignment which is due tomorrow…no no, today, later in the day. To think Gladys said I can sleep early today. Haha. See Gladys, I’m still awake. ;D

Anyway, in another 8hours time, I will be meeting my classmates at Raffles MRT station so that we can do our outdoor sketching. No idea, Binab is getting nicer as the day passed, it’s quite scary actually, like the peace before the storm…plus there is a presentation tomorrow, the main presentation, think she will be rather strict. OMG.

Yeo Chee Khiong on the other hand is like, my goodness, I only like him because I think he teaches perspective drawing better than Jeffery, cause Jeffery didn’t really go into teaching us, not like YCK. I still don’t like him. I can’t wait for this block to end, but oh my, it’s only the 2nd week of the block, still got one more week to go. Jialat. How to survive and Evon they all having holidays soon. Damn it. Sians.

Hao la. Gotta go get my sleep le. MY PIMPLES COMING OUT LE LA!!!! ANGRY!!!
Sorry Ronney, this hour still awake. Haha. First time only la. Haha.

K la. ByeBye.

:D

As I have mentioned, I really should be studying. The truth is there is nothing for me to study, oh yes, I do. I just remembered. Precious Moments Research. WOW. Here is a conversation between Ray and Priscilia.

Ray: You call that studying?!
Pris: Oh yes it is, you get that so right and I shall say, “BINGO!”

Ray: I thought you hated Binab???
Pris: OMG, you got that right again, I hated her, but I don’t know. She is starting to get nice for some reason, maybe…maybe she is not that bad afterall

Ray: You and your crap…so do you like her now?
Pris: Ask me that again, my answer is the same, I don’t like her.

Ray: Eating your own words man. So how is life?
Pris: Great. But I don’t really like Yeo Yeo. He has some serious problems…

Ray: With?
Pris: His pronunciation! OMG, it’s seriously too bad you are in LV now Ray, you should have heard him, bet you will laugh to bits la please.

Ray: How bad can it get?
Pris: Oh, not that bad afterall, just that he said RAN-FOREST when its should be Rainforest and and and, BA-SICS shape and when it should be basic shapes.

Ray: Now that is hilarious… 

Pris: What about you?
Ray: Me? Ok, all great. Nick and I are still happily in love with each other, he cut his hair recently, like NS boy.

Pris: OMG, you are still with him? And to think I thought you would like Archie instead…
Ray: Archie? As in Archie Kao? Yeah. He is really nice but we are not close, and he is rather popular around here. Too bad he is not chosen to be groomed, unlike Gregory. Greg is really lucky to have met Cath. Btw, I’m staying at her house now…

Pris: Be sure not to hurt her kid…
Ray: You bet I won’t because I don’t have the time too…

Pris: That busy?
Ray: As always…

Pris: Alrights, don’t disturb you then. Morning by the way…
Ray: Yeah. Thanks. Nights to you too…

Yeah. Ray is back in LV. Having fun and stuff. Anyway. I am also busy…
gtg…Byes…

:D

I’m seriously not afraid to offend her. I dislike her! I wanted to much to put I hate her, but hate is a strong word. I DISLIKE BINAB THE BITCH! Mind you, that nickname was not from me, it was from other people but no matter, i agree totally to it. She is just getting on my nerve with every sentence I typed for the report. She can just drive me nuts.

Totally drive me nuts. 

I seriously have no idea what she wants from me. From us, more likely. I mean, you did not give clear instructions and you scold us dumb for it, not only that, when someone gave a presentation, you critique it by saying it’s lame. Like wth is wrong with you? At least have the basic respect and we are only freshman, what you want??? Ask you for examples and definitions and all you can tell is, “go check it out yourself” and how many days you give us and yet you still want a “wow” presentation and when we present ideas of OUR choice, you reject them all. How unreasonable is that? It is stated clearly that we do things of our choice, so what is wrong with apparel merchandise and fast-food restaurant or even Top man shop??? What is the problem with you? Now, you limit us of our ideas by rejecting us and the reason behind it? It’s because you are sick of these ideas as the last class, or the last last class or the class one year ago have done it…Wth. How does those classes using those ideas have any problems with us doing it and now we have to bury our very small heads to re-do the whole bloody research and presentation and you still can say you forgive us. OMG. Get a life.

And yes I can say it again, I hate school cause of you, just the thought of having to face me just make my blood boil and slam at anything i see and indeed, I have done it, I hit the floor of your class when you talk with that haolian and pissed off attitude when we are asking you something serious. And all your answer has no link to all my questions. Seriously. I dun like your accent either. That act English accent which you make yourself say it, are you trying to show off or what, I seriously have the mindset to speak slang to you back too and when I see that pissed off face of yours, I will be laughing behind your back, ALOUD.

You pissed me off like totally. Binab The Peanut.  And you got that right, that is MOI’S, PRISCILIA LIEW RUI XI nickname to you, how about that? KIND ENOUGH!?

BTW people, I’m home already. He moved out.

:D

Does it make any difference at all? You are tired, so I am, I have been tired since the start of the week but yet, I hanged on, I carried on and live life as normally as it is. I am going through something you have not gone through before, no matter how much I tell you, you also can’t understand fully how I feel. Do you get it?

I am trying to be a strong girl, as strong as possible. I don’t let my tears flow out no matter how tired or how depress I am. I don’t show my weaker side, the side that just want to burst and cry in front of people, I show them that I’m fine, nothing can beat me down. I try my best not to let people around me worry for me, I do everything in my power to joke about things I don’t think is a joke at all. I forced smiles and laughter so that I can lie to myself that in the day, I’m still Priscilia, the happy, smiley, worry-free Priscilia. I needed you so that if ever I felt tired, I got someone to rely on, 3years ago, 3 years later, the person I relied on have not change. It is still you. Yet now, I can’t rely on you further, the recent text conversation we had just prove it further that I am once again, alone without you.

Every time I felt tired, I will do things that make me more tired, I will work, I will divert my attention but at the end of the day? I am still as tired as ever, or even more tired than before. But so what, like I told people, life still goes on, no matter how tiring it is, life still goes on, unless I intended to attempt suicide. But no, I have no intent to. But now, without you holding on to me, I really wonder how long I can carry on. Will I be weaker without you, or does my “life still goes on” continue to motivate me.

I want to tell you how I feel, everything, I want to tell you everything, from how I felt 3 days ago till today. I want to tell you everything. Will you even give me a chance? Will you? I’m afraid if I tell you, I will just add to your stress and burdens. That’s not my intention. Really.

I texted him last night. Telling him how sorry I am to put him through all this. I was really sorry and till now I am which made me more tired than ever. Really tired. Something else stretched the rubber band further, it's not him, it's guilt. Total guilt pulled the rubber band. My eyes are expressionless and I had to pull myself up to get out of bed and when I sat there, I just stared into space and the whole guilt feeling from last night just came gushing back to my eyes. I finally know what is that thing which can make me break apart. It has nothing to do with him. Nothing. It's me.

HJ texted me yesterday, it was a messge of comfort telling me that he was worried for me and that I can call him anytime on anything and that he will be there. This whole message sounded really familiar and that message brought tears to my eyes. Half of it was touched and the other half was because I was reminded of how much he supported me and the feeling of it getting further and further is so near.

Certain someone told me to be prepared. To be prepared that if he leaves, I must be able to handle it. I have no idea how to handle it when at these point of time, he is the one I needed most. Most. Yet, I somehow have a feeling that I can no longer depend on him anymore. I miss him, I really do, and it's alot but now, I don't wish to bother him, not when he is going through almost as much as I do or maybe even more. I don't want to add more troubles to him and yet in this process, I know, I may lose him. I love him. I really do. I love him so much that many a times, I suspect myself why am I doing so much when in the past, he have hurt me time and again and yet I can still forgive him and love him deeper, but does this matter now? No. It does not make a difference now. I fear that he may leave me but I can't be so selfish to the extend that I want him to be by my side and force him to be. No, I can't do that. I can't be so selfish. If he wants to leave in the end, he will make his choice and go and I will smile to bid him goodbye and thank him and apologise to him but yet, I know, in my heart, how much I won't want him to leave, how much I won't want him to go.

I love you, I really do.
Please know that I love you more than anything else in the world. Please know that.

In myself?
Yeah, in myself. I feel so useless.
Just as I told sharon,

I'm just like a rubber band, it was not stretched. Slowly, schoolwork started to stretch it, then my r/s pulled it further, then my family problem came and it just kept pulling and pulling and pulling until how it is now, it is about to snap in no time and the hole in it is getting bigger and bigger. I'm about to break already. Breaking soon. Really breaking soon.

Today, what really kept me through the day was him. Noone but him. I just wanted to meet him today to make me feel safe and secure, to let me know that there is still someone there for me to really rely on. But why? Why when I saw him today, I can't feel his presence? I was sitting just beside him and yet I can't feel his presence. That feeling of helpless and insecurity was so hard to bear and the minute I can't feel his presence, whatever I wanted to tell him, it just slip away, just escape. I did not dare to tell him because he seemed to be sending me a message, telling me not to depend on him anymore. That fear was back. He never know how much support he had given me over these times and that minute I couldn't feel his presence, it is like as though he took away what I had left. And what I had left was probably him, putting my friends aside, what I had left to let me hold on, hang on, is probably him but once I couldn't feel him, I just break away, just want to stop everything and cry and I did, I cried while pouring all my sorrows to Sharon. All that I wanted to tell him initially, I told Sharon.

I felt so tired. I know if I had tell him in the first place, things won't be as bad as it is now. I have never felt so tired during these times of hardship, never felt as tired as I do now. Never. Because he had been there but when he walked away from me, it's like everything just fall back on me and everything came back, back to me and this time, it came hard, hard and fast, so much so I'm not prepared for it, so much so I just dropped and cried in the library, so much so, I felt that I lost him forever and that is the thing that probably upset me the most, the most of the most.

Once again, I know, I know that I have taken him for granted and upset to say, I have taken him for granted again. I really hate myself for being such a person. For taking him for granted. I felt really sorry and really bad. I was afraid to face him to the extend that I had to get his friend to watch him out for me. I need him, but I know that if I become a burdern, I will lose him and that feeling seems near, very near. In the end, I'm still the weak one. All that strong front that I have been putting up in the day, all is fake because when the night is here, I'm still the weak one, still the one who cries for help and read his messages to put me to sleep.

In the end, Priscilia is still the weak one. The weakest one.

I'm going back home, in half hour time, no, not home to sleep or anything, just to go collect my clothes. Just the thought of it brings a chill down my spine. Somehow, I know, this is not going to be a good night for me. Yes, I'm not abit looking forward to going back to that unsafe place. Not at all.

I have to admit, though I hate to, I really am scared to go back. That fear is back. I have no idea what he would do. Mummy reckons he will not try anything but something told me, everything is going to be settled tonight, in what way, I do not know.

CHANGE OF PLANS!

I'm going back on friday night. He said, we can have them all by friday night. What does he mean when he said, have them all? Why friday night? My mum thinks he may move out, but is it possible? Will he really do so? If so, what should I do? I really don't know what to do or even what to think. I really don't know. I'm scared. Really scared.

I am in school now, current exact position is the library, 9th floor, training room; and what are they training me for? This thing called Communicating Design Ideas, or rather comDi. The one that I am yet again stuck with. ;3

So, maybe I don't really care or maybe not, because while I'm typing this, I'm suppose to wait for this youtube video to load and goodness, it is taking damn slow to load. :0
Why is school computer ever so lag no matter which school you are in? Double :0

Before class started, I was talking to Jeffery just now about my problems, and he was quite taken aback by it maybe because I don't behave like a problem in school, during the day which I guess is a good think~ I don't know.
Random, he said I am a very interesting person and also a very strong one. I don't know how long I can hold on but I'm still holding on, apparently. He also said I'm mature in various places. :3

Anyway, I went to him, as Ronney had advise before, to look for a counsellor and I chose him, since I'm closest to him. I mean, he is the school counsellor cum my care person, of course I will look for him and I think he is very easy to talk to also. He got the father-ly feel and most importantly, he listens.

Haha. I also liked to take this chance to do something which I forgot to do yesterday.
I LOVE BIANTAI!!!
Didn't catch that?
I LOVE BIANTAI!
I LOVE BIANTAI!!
I LOVE BIANTAI!!!
Like seriously, I love you guys man. Thanks for supporting me so much over these days and yeah, maybe I may be like bad-tempered to you guys but hey, thanks for loving and supporting me and thanks for the stationary as well, promise, when my situation gets better, I will treat you people to a meal. Also, if ever you people want to organize any dinner or lunch or anything right, promise me you people won't think of my financial circumstances ok, I can manage de. Don't worry for me yeah. Priscilia very strong de. :D

OMG! comDI is so so so sian!!! They now teaching me how to use the school library portal when I already know how to use it, isn't it like a general knowledge? Ok la. They got introduce other search database website which I think are quite useful...I think ah.
comDI is soooooo sian... I want to sleep!!! At least this trainer the voice sounds better than Binab's. Binab's voice is an official meditation voice but with weird accent. :0 Sorry Binab, but I doubt you will ever see this anyway. :)

Plus, plus, plus, I need to thank a few people and apologize to a few people.
First, my cousins and their parents. Thank you to all and every single one of you for being there, for just being there and showing full support to my family, for making that extra effort for us.
Second, my biantai clique, k, I thank you guys already so I shall not say further.
Sorry to my class clique for I did not tell you people the full story. Sorry. :8

Alright alright, I gotta go. If not I will keep rattling on.
Oh, how is my new blogskin? Nice? Haha. I like...
Goodness, I'm so slack...

Still hanging on...be strong!!!

Hey Yo!
I'm back. It's been a rough week for me but I won't say what. It's still hard on me though, but I will pull through. :)

Anyway. My second block has started. YES! But when I know what is behind it, NO!! With a double exclaimation mark. Ok. I'm still slacking, not as chiong as first block, NOT YET! I have no idea what to do for some stuff and I seriously feel so disorganzied. I will get over it.

My crazy days are back. THEY ARE BACK. I'm now pretending to shoot people with my imaginenary pistol and so far, I shot leslie and Anwar. Yup, this 2 kana already. ;D
And and and, I will act like i'm so martial arts expert and start doing taiji, judo and high kick. Dunno who today say i can be chun-li. Haha. That's Leongwei lor. haha.

Alright, nothing much for me to update.
I dun like 3d art fun btw, it bores me and i bet im gonna do badly for it. The lecturer is stupid.
I dun like it.
I dun like ComDi.
All of which i'm stuck with. D:

the reason why i have not been blogging is that life for me has been tedious, really tedious, i always feel that i'm on the brink of giving up and falling but i have not fell over because i know this is war which only allow victory for me, and if i lose it, i will lose me, for good, i will really go crazy and mental. I'm dead serious.

I know, I must protect those that I love, protect those who are meant to be protected, worth me protecting and because of this reason, i must be heartless, i must be prepared that this war is going to cause me a life of misery and maybe one day i will regret because i lost someone as well, but at this very moment, i can't afford to hesitate, i can't afford to sit and wait for bad stuffs to fall on me and my loved one. I am really prepared to go all out to put a stop to this torture that i'm going through, no-one besides those who really knows what this war's objective about can help and even close friends cant do a single thing for me and no way im letting them get involve in this. i have my plans of course, i just need the green light.

in this process, i may lose myself, my true self, i know i will change and if i pass this war, i will be a very different me, you may not even know me, but i know if i dun do this, no one can save me, do you understand, whatever im doing now may seem bad on the outside, but it is the one and only way i can protect myself and my love one, otherwise, we will all die.

i actually have phobias of weird things, im afraid of my phone ringing, im afraid of standing near roads or gazing at cars. i have stopped crying, my strength has gone up another level over the past night and i know there is no turning back for me. like my cousin said, i have genes of both strength and firm, and i know it is this 2 things that can save me and God.

I will update as much as i can about my inner feelings through this blog. i have to let it all out, because keeping it in me is just going to add on to my misery.

WELL, IN CASE YOU HAVE NOT SEEN MY MSN NICK AND FACEBOOK STATUS,
I HAVE OFFICIALY ENTERED A STAGE OF HISTORY.
I AM ON THE VERGE OF BREAKING DOWN AND GIVING UP.
I’M SO SO SO DEAD TMR. DOUBT YOU WILL SEE ME ALIVE, MENTALLY.

GOODNIGHTS HUMANS, I'M NOT HUMAN, JUST REALIZED THAT FACT. SADLY. :(

DAMN. I hate coming home facing scolding[s], nagging and having to teach technology. No offences la, really. But, personally, am a very impatient little girl so I wil crack when people are slow to technology, yes yes, one day it will be moi’s turn. Like, I had a hard day at school and when I come home, they start splashing away just because there was no one to splash on when I’m not at home. TMD!!!

Really, they make me want to stay in school, although I know some people will never allow me to stay in school and personally, I don’t wish to stay in school with all the good friends around. Seriously, brr… but I know that day will come soon enough. Gosh, stay in school, that would be so cool la. ANWAR!!! I WANT TO STAY IN SCHOOL TOO!!! Motivates me to study or in this case, draw. I like working in school, there is that particular ambience which Junyuan seriously lacked. Sorry Junyuan, too bad. Bleh.

Finished my machine drawing already, yes! See, I told you school makes me want to work, at home I will just procrastinate like no one’s business. LIKE NOW!!! Ok, I promise I will get back to work after this entry, fingers crossed by the way. Cannot la. A2 size can really kill man, just look at it. My God.

One good thing that happen to me, probably the best, besides learning to shade, thanks to Wa-Wa btw, but anyway, the best thing is I finally ate lunch with biantai!!! YES!!! Like finally can. I miss eating with them but the next time I eat with them, I make sure we sit together and the next time I eat with them, I swear I’m not sitting with Ronney and Hanlin, they will just make me lose my appetite. And when that happen, Ronney, don’t be such an idiot and force me to eat because Hanlin and you are the ones that make me can’t eat. :P

Alright, must go le la. Really must go le. Seeya.

:D

THIS BLOG POST IS SO LATE LA!!!. School on Friday was great because there was no school. There is only outing! Haha. My hair smells good, random fact. :)

So, yup, we went to the Asia Civilisation Museum, was so late but Jeffery was not angry. My friends were nuts man! They jay-walked the EXPRESSWAY! Ra-Ra and I was making a fuss out of it, since we nearly died jay-walking. No pictures from the museum, it will just bore you, but there is one which you may find amusing but totally evil…

It’s just totally plain evil, but I was laughing till I had stomach cramps. :D
Own time, Own target, so clique and I sketch whatever we liked then we moved, joined Min’ Er, Dawn and Celest.



Whole gang, w/o Esther, she didn’t want to take photos. :(
So she became photographer of the day…and she took great photos. :D

Pretending to be retarded tourist???!!!

Trying to act cute with Gladys’s Bag…

Went to orchard after that, took the bus there, must remember, 167 can go town. Haha. But before that, we met an old friend and of course took photo with him…

SIR THOMAS STAMFORD RAFFLES!!! Haha.
The guys on the music so loud, it was so annoying and all different music, even with my MP3 on, I could still hear them, goodness. Ken took out his gigantic headphones and starting being high.
Wisma was where we had lunch, crowded and packed with office people, we look so pro among them, I think and of course, we were making noise. My clique kept cam-whore man. I like…:) I took the most photos with DJ le…DJ!!!


They are officially gay because they are…it’s proven already…just look…

DJ’s cam went dead when he was trying to take a photo of Ra-Ra…

Pair of good friends huh??? Someone is not in this photo. Haha.

Hello, LOOK HERE, CONFESSIONS OF PRISCILIA: DJ and I are FRIENDS!!! LOOK AGAIN, FRIENDS and believe it. BELIEVE it. WE ARE GOOD FRIENDS.
DJ is nice but as a friend, FRIENDS only…

Me, myself and I. And yes, The smile is real. ;D

Was tiring cause I was wearing my heels. Who cares. I had my fun. I really can’t wait for next week to end. IMD T01, Blue on Monday, remember!!! I seriously can’t wait for it to end. I can’t wait for next block to start either. Goodbye to Drawing Essentials and Ideation…GOODBYE. Still got one more week, I can do it. :0)

Thanks dad! who bought me a mobile modem. Now I hope my phone has a USB port. God, I want a sidekick phone. Damn it.

Over these days, I have seen the light and know what is most suitable for me, it may not be the best decision, and I may regret it in the end because I put in lots of thinking. Yes, there will be tears, lots of them, and I won’t deny that in the process, many are hurt and many will rejoice, but what’s in store for me, I wonder… I had great days, great memories and great fun. Everything was great but if there is an obstacle that can’t be overcome, no matter how great, it will also become emptiness, it’s a pity, definitely and somehow, I will think about it and cry all over again because everything was so real. I asked myself, am I happy these days, I try to recall and memories flashback came coming in, and I asked myself, can I let it go, everything was so fast and so real but yet, it seems to be coming to an end. Everything could turn out fine but I have to weigh what is most important to me. Now, I sit in front of my notebook and read what the paragraph I just typed and once again I asked myself, can i let it go, and an answer slap me into reality, maybe not after all. Think logically, I can live, somehow or rather, I can live because I’m a survivor. Even my mother agree. I will find a way to live. I suddenly lost my direction and do not know what I want. I don’t wish to spend my days crying but what is most important to me? Should I try again or allow myself to be what I used to be? I seriously have no idea. And I finally realized, in this field, I’m a total failure. Failure.

Just got home from a damn hot retail therapy. REALLY. No joke. Spend near $300 within an hour and I’m not the one paying, besides the bag. Haha. Retail therapy relieves stress and make people happy, this is so so true. I enjoyed shopping today. Whoo~ and the best thing is, everything got my size. YES AH!!!

Spend like the whole day doing research today, in the library. Clique and I had early lunch since today is like independent work and consultation for final assignment. Yes, you got that right, I didn’t type wrongly, FINAL ASSIGNMENT FOR THE BLOCK!!! and I will be “FREE”. Haha. Just need to pia for next week and my nightmare will be over, my enjoyable nightmare. Finally!!! I’m so going to miss Ideation. After this block is COMDI, heard it’s really tough. Jeff said that if you are comfortable with English, you will be fine. I hope so…

Final assignment due on Thursday, I have in mind what to draw le and Jeff said the concept is good, hope the outcome will be good too. :)
Happy happy. :) :)
My friends praised me today, so happy. They are like praising me everyday, so blessed to have them, maybe I should be more generous with my compliments too. They are really great bunch of people. Love them. :) Oh. Gladys, Est and Ra-Ra thought I was a rich girl, they say I behave and act very rich, Haha, Gladys said I have the qi zhi and Ra-Ra said I have the wit, Est agreed with them. They said I portray myself like a very professional person. Muahaha. Thx guys, but I’m not rich, just an average family. Haha. The best praise got to be Anwar’s praise, but I’m going to keep it to myself. Haha. I LIKE DJ!!!! Haha. Hush Hush.

Going to the Asia Civilisation Museum tmr and after that, I’m going to Bugis with my clique. Whoopie~ It’s going to be my clique first time going out together. I’m so going to take photos.. I’m in love with them!!! HAHA!!!

Biantai dun jealous, next Friday the basketball I will go ok, promise, cause my block is over on that day. Haha. I will be free!!!~~~

:) 

OK. I may not really like this person, but, I’m quoting her, “SCHOOL IS DISGUSTINGLY TIRING”, that’s what she said and I totally agree, but who cares, I have great friends!!! LOOK:

 

 

    

Wa-Wa and I

Er…Ra-Ra and I

Yup, all these people are my friends. My tutorial class. WE ROCK MAN!!! Seriously. Specially my clique and of course Jody and the group. Love them.
Anyway, I came up with this saying today, “Just when you think your deadlines has ended, a beginning-line will appear”. It means that a new assignment will come whenever your assignment ended. And it’s true. I have like 4 assignments with me and 3 of them has deadline on the same day!!! WTH!!! Banana man! Seriously, banana. Grrr…

Looking forward to Friday cause my class is going to do outdoor sketching at the ASIA CIVILISATION MEUSEM! Whoopie!!! And after that, I’m going to Bugis with clique to buy art materials. OMG. So happy…  
Final project due next Thursday and I just started on research. A2 size leh!!! OMG. Will die sia. I told you right, no end de lor, just when I thought I finished my deadline, Jeffery came to tell the class that final project due on Thursday. Gosh…

Today, I officially showed my obsession for DJ. Goodness, I’m so “in love” with him and he knows it and his reaction is damn cute. K, he was not irritated or anything, at least I think so, but his reactions are classic. But who else can beat Ken when come in terms of classic, “Where are you 2 girls going without my permission?” HAHA! His voice is too distinct and the whole class roared with laughter. HAHA. 

Ok, something I did today, I learn today, it’s called Motif. Super cool. It’s using recurring patterns to form something else. Really damn cool. HAHA. This is one of my assignments, the easier one. OMG, I have not start taking photos. DIE! Due on Monday. Cannot, tmr must take photo, Friday go print then weekend can start do le. JUST IN TIME. I hope…hais…

 

:)

PHOTOS!!!! Whee~ Today is couple day for DJ and I! Right DJ?! Notice the similarities? We are wearing exactly the same colour, from head to toe and that’s so cool la!!! I mean, we are both wearing blue top, black bottom and whit shoes and we rock man!!!
We didn’t know actually, we didn’t realize, it was Ken who realized. I met up with them when Gladys and I went to the toilet together[Why are they loitering outside the female toilet]?  

Ken was like, “You two are wearing the same colour! Stand together!” 
So I went to stand beside DJ and we two were like, “woah!”
Ken went, “You 2 look like couple! Look so cute together.”
DJ and I went speechless and we just smiled. Haha. So we took a photo for memory’s sake

Really damn cool la. Was so hyper can. DJ leh! My crush!!! Haha. Oh! DJ said he is stealing me from Anwar!!! OMG!!! He was kidding cause of the little game we played. But, he, Anwar and Rahman really treat me damn good, maybe cause I’m like the only girl among them. Then now got Gladys and Esther. Whole day, I was standing in between Anwar and him. Haha. DJ is really super super nice, he is like the Mr.Nice Guy. Haha. Oh, we wanted to hook hands and skip to class but apparently I was in heels and skirt so it was a little unglam, so we hooked hands and enter the class, like wedding like that. Wonder what DJ is wearing tomorrow then we wear same colour again!!! Haha. Think I siao le la.

 

This guy below is Leslie. Resembles GH not? Yes right? This was taken a few days back though, not today. He also treats me nice, he is the one who counts how many times I say the F word. Thanks. Haha. I’m counting yours too. Haha. HE IS SUPER TALENTED!!!

 

K la. Today class started at 1230! Whoopie! Jeffery had med. appt so he cancelled Drawing Essentials but he didn’t turn up for Ideation either, Kim took over. Think I will score well for my colour composition board, my effort was great. Kim also praised me about my idea for the design just that I had too much logic which I shouldn’t mention. Nevermind, it’s in my rationale. Haha. All is bullshit de lor, like “My spirals vintage borders is to show that woman can be as complex as spirals yet are as simple as lines”, is yesterday doing research suddenly pop into my mind de lor. And and and, “the hearts represent what woman needs at the end of the day, love.”, the class went “WA!!!”, Anyway  also bullshit de lor. Now, I believe that woman either live on career or love. Please. Ya la, go home also hope got someone to lean on, specially after a hard day of work, but be realistic. If you are a workaholic, you are a workaholic. Go back also do work la. No inner meaning hor, don’t anyhow think. I’m just stating a truth. Which lady CEO go back is not continue do work one? Tell me la. Maybe I’m just being pessimistic.

Went to the library to mug, like there is anything for me to mug la, neh, clique and I went to do our assignment due tomorrow which is “still life” composition which I think I’m going to fail. I’m damn slack this week la. Really. I don’t even focus when I’m trying to draw my automobile. I’m losing concentration. CANNOT! Must go back to the path. R-I-G-H-T!!! Still, this week is really slack for me. Gosh. Once I get over tmr, my week is considered ended because my next deadline will be next week and resources for it is easily available. NO, ITS NOT!!!! My God, I just remembered that the process after collecting resources requires alot of patience and I’m aiming for an A for this!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!

Going to Bugis with clique to buy art materials at Art Friend on Friday. See. Even going to town is for school work. Hais. Priscilia has no life. Nevermind. Got class clique and Biantai. JIAYO! Talking about jiayo, ESTHER!!!!! ESTHER, I dunno if by any chance are you reading my blog cause by right you shouldn’t be, you got assignments to do, nvm, dun too stress ya, dun worry what the outcome of your design will be, words can make your design look like it is and I have confidence I can help you with that, dun worry ya! Just do it, remember, there is no right or wrong answer, it’s all about looking at the ordinary but seeing the extraordinary and you are one extraordinary girl to me, so I believe you can do it… KAMPATAT! Right Gladys?!
AND! No, Rahman-cum-Rara-cum-Spencer, I’m for the last time, not going to join Japanese culture group, no offences to the group ok, I’m just not interested. I’m only interested in the language and I can easily take that through CDS. HAHA!!!!

Ok. slack finish. that’s it.

Miley Cyrus – The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreamin' but
There's a voice inside my head saying
you'll never reach it
Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shakin
But I, I gotta keep tryin.
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on 'cause
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side
It's the climb
Yeah-yeah
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes you're gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin on the other side
It's the climb
Yeah-yeah-yeah
Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith
Baby
It's all about
It's all about the climb
Keep your faith
Keep your faith
Whoa, O Whoa

Friends of mine will know that I have never like Miley Cyrus and always claimed that Hannah Montana sounds like a name for Orang-Utan but I was doing my work and listening to muttons and this song came up and somehow, it suited how I felt. Specially the first stanza. A dream I see, but something tells me I can’t make it but I got to keep trying and keep my head held high. I got to be strong and keep pushing on. Do I sound like an idiot? Haha.

Thanks everyone for praising my dressing today, I like it myself. :) I’m getting myself more bareback if I can afford the time to shop. :)
Tired. I have a feeling I’m going to fail my “still life” composition drawing. Shit. 

OK. Down with one assignment for the week and left with 2 more. YES!!!
However, sadly, there comes along one more, due next week. WTH!!! But ok la, cause that one is photography and cutting skills which I think is difficult. Not the photography part, the cutting part. –_- Jeff taught us how to do it today, goodness, the amount of patience. I think I will be screaming. ROAR!!!

Not a good week to start with. Shit, not done with my APEL worksheet and damn it, it’s supposed to be due today at 5pm, hopes Jeffery won’t scold me. I so good girl…for the past weeks. Eh, I very consistent de ok. Don’t play play man. Priscilia leh, woah, consistent was never in her dictionary. Goodness. OH! Just remembered, one more assignment again, damn, due next Wednesday! Banana de assignments. I haven’t feel the rushness[lala language] for this week yet, but its bound to come. Somehow I have a feeling it’s going to be a slack week for me. Oh no, it’s not. I just remembered I have 20+ more sketches to go!!! Why is my work never done!?!?!!?! Banana design school!

Anyway, as I was saying, this week did not start off well, nevertheless, I can’t let it affect me in anyway even though it is still but when it’s work, it’s work. And it’s work. I’m still upset anyways, CANNOT AFFECT ME[repeats 9000 times]!!! I won’t mention what is it but still…I feel bad. But I don’t want…ROAR!!! This is crazy. Thank God, my clique was there to cheer me up, though they do not know, clique here referred to my class clique, not Biantai. Didn’t meet them today except for Sharon and Vanessa and Shermeen, I miss Evon. Ok, the clique includes people like DJ, Wa-Wa, Ra-Ra, Esther, Gladys, V.V, Fer-nei-nei and I. Great bunch of people. :) Smiles for them!!! Treated them to teh-bing as promised on Saturday, 9 people leh!!!

I’m not complaining anything here. I adore Design School, despite all the stress I faced right, I still enjoy what I’m doing and learning. I’m eager to go school everyday, in fact, school is part of my life now. I love school. But, school is also stealing alot of things from me and one thing that it stole and causing so much problems for me, is time.

TIME!!! A life saver and also a murderer. My life was perfect before, I have family, friends and a bf. Unfortunately, time has stolen all these things for me. My dad just called me into the room and said, “girl ah, ever since school started, become I sleep you study, I wake up you sleeping, I very long never talk to you le leh, I miss you” MY DAD ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO ME!!! Imagine that. My mum said, “ah girl ah, I waiting for you leh…waiting for you to watch tv with me” and the only thing I can say is, “you watch first la, I not done with my things.” As I type this, I feel like crying. Seriously, there are tears in my eyes. I feel guilty that I can no longer spend as much time as I did with my parents. Same goes for my friends. Before Sharon sms-ed me saying that she wanted to hug me when she sees me later, I was so busy with my work that when I see this message and I think back, I realized I didn’t spare any time for myself to miss my old friends. Once again, I feel like the most evil person in the world.
The past few days, my parents said things that I never expect them to say, things like “mummy ah, bring ah girl to tm later, go walk walk, she have been at home doing her work.” , things like, “girl ah, stop doing your work and go down for a walk, take a breather and buy dinner.” , things like, “girl ah, don’t make the effort, go out today and enjoy yourself.” My friend praised me today, she said, “Priscilia so hardworking.”, yeah, at that time right, I was busy completing my assignment which was due tomorrow and everyone was slacking, not slacking but like taking their time to do the work, this praise caused me all the above hurt I feel. This praise has a serious consequence behind and I ask myself, “Is that what I’m exchanging for?” and I realized that it was somehow too late, I have accidentally cross the line and be where I am today. 

I end here. I got nothing else to say.

CHECK THIS OUT!I’M A ESFP

ESFP RELATIONSHIP
ESFPs are fun and delightful to be with. They live for the moment, and know how to make the most of each moment. They are genuinely, warmly interested in people, and love to make others happy. They're usually very kind-hearted and generous, and are always going out of their way to do something nice for someone. Their affection is simple, straight-forward and honest. They dislike theory and complexities. They often resist forming relationships which require them to function on a high Intuitive or Thinking level. They prefer for things to be light and happy, although their warmth and affection runs deep. Their potential downfall is the tendency to live entirely for the present moment, and therefore to sometimes be unaware of the direction that their relationship is heading, or to be easily distracted from long-term commitments[sorry to all my partners!!!]

ESFP STRENGTH [this part is generally important]

• Enthusiastic and fun-loving, they make everything enjoyable[yes! I think so]
• Clever, witty, direct, and popular, people are drawn towards them[definitely not clever, witty or popular] 
• Earthy and sensual[er…I use plastic often?!]
• Down to earth and practical, able to take care of daily needs[HELLO! I must survive!]
• Artistic and creative, they're likely to have attractive homes[what a joke, I’m in design school]
• Flexible and diverse, they "go with the flow" extremely well[i like to “go with the flow] 
• They can leave bad relationships, although it's not easy[its hard to forget someone who was once important somehow…]
• Try to make the most of every moment[of course, we only got 3 years to live and that is not a fact!]
• Generous and warm-hearted[k la, I give treats occasionally]

ESFP WEAKNESSES[forgo this area!]

May be frivolous and risky with money[so not true!]

Tend to be materialistic [so true! $.$]

Extreme dislike of criticism, likely to take things extremely personally [ok la. i survived with shermeen]

Likely to ignore or escape conflict situations rather than face them[PI LEH!!! total rubbish]

Lifelong commitments may be a struggle for them - they take things one day at a time[er…no comments]

Don't pay enough attention to their own needs[hai hao ba…]

Tendency to neglect their health, or even abuse their bodies[something R will totally agree but not true]

Always excited by something new, they may change partners frequently[this is so so true but i dun change partner often]

ESFP AS LOVER
ESFPs embrace their love relationships in a Big way - similar to the way they approach their lives in general. They love to be in love[logically, who dun?], and will try to make the most of each moment. They take things on a day-by-day basis, and are uncomfortable thinking too much about the future, or making plans far in advance. For this reason, ESFPs are not natural long-term commitment people. They may feel tremendously committed on a day-by-day basis, but they do not naturally plan for their futures.

This commitment issue is a potential pitfall for the ESFP. Many people of this type overcome this potential weakness, and become involved in truly satisfying, lifelong relationships. Others do not address this weakness, and move from relationship to relationship without forming real commitments, convincing themselves that this is what they truly want.

Sexually, the ESFP is a very earthy and sensual individual who seeks and enjoys intimate contact with their partners[so not not not true]. Living in the here-and-now, they thoroughly embrace and enjoy the experience with all five senses[sound so wrong please]. They are generous and warm, and highly interested in making their partners happy[TAKE THAT!!!]

ESFPs tend to be materialistic, and somewhat caught up in "what others think" of them. They should take care that this doesn't interfere with their personal relationships[this must be very clear in my head], since many of the others types will not be able to relate to their perspectives on these matters.

ESFPs do not handle conflict well at all. They take any sort of criticism very personally[it really depends on who said it and what tone…], and consider it to be a general indictment of their character. They may react with anger and harsh words which they would later like to take back. ESFPs would do themselves a favour if they would come to realize that criticism can be looked at constructively, rather than destructively. If they can hear criticism without feeling personally threatened, the ESFP will have come a very long way towards greatly improving the strength and health of their relationships.

ESFPs are extremely literal and concrete when communicating. They say things in a very direct, abrupt manner, and can sometimes even unintentionally seem quite harsh[this is the fact-est fact in the whole post]. They like things to be communicated to them in a similar, concrete fashion. They dislike theory and abstraction, and will frequently misunderstand the jest of a communication if it is not communicated in a factual, present-tense manner. Discussions regarding the future or the past are not the ESFP's strong suit, and in fact they're likely to misconstrue future-looking statements as something that needs immediate attention. When they discover that the discussion is not regarding an immediate concern, they become disinterested.

ESFPs are in general very warm and giving people, with simple needs and demands from their partners. They just want to be happy, and want to bring happiness to others. They are energetic and popular individuals who will liven up the social life of the couple, and keep many new experiences on the horizon. [ITS RED, BOLD, ITALIC, UNDERLINED, NOTICE IT!!!]

ESFP AS FRIEND
ESFPs are highly enthusiastic and effervescent. They are usually very popular, because people are naturally drawn towards them[not true once again]. They get such genuine delight and enjoyment from experiences which they encounter in life, and they love nothing better than to draw a crowd of people along with them for the sheer fun of it[this is true though]. ESFPs try to turn every day into a party, and they're usually successful at doing so.

ESFPs are highly valued for their ability to have a good time, and for their genuine warmth and interest towards people[thank you thank you]. They are extremely in tune with their five senses, and may be prone to overload them with too much alcohol, food, or drugs. They get along with all sorts of people, although they're not interested in spending time with people who they find boring, or who expect the ESFP to communicate with them on an Intuitive or Thinking level. Some people may disapprove of the ESFP's fun-oriented lifestyle. Others may be put off by their very straight-forward and blunt speaking style. The ESFP is likely to especially enjoy spending time with other Extraverts who have the Feeling preference, although they may have a special place in their hearts for people of any preference.

Personally. I think it’s quite true. Oops.

 

 

ok. DJ is wearing the polka dots pullover, WA-WA is the guy beside DJ, Ra-Ra man is the one wearing white below me, I’m in yellow pullover and V.V is the guy whose head is popping from the corner. Esther is the beside me and Gladys is the girl beside Ra-Ra. :)

APEL WAS AMAZING!!!! ZHANG ZHANG ZHANG ZHANG!!!
At first I thought our entire skit was going to be atrocious! HELLO! We came up with the skit idea 2 days before the skit which was a Thursday, plus I joined them at the 11th hour since I wasn’t present on the first session AND my group didn’t meet on Friday because it was labour day which meant we didn’t practise for our skit and V.V[Kelvin] didn’t sent us the script and DJ, Ra-Ra, Wa-Wa and I were like freaked out, we sms-ed each other the whole night and were going “mati la mati la”.

When we met on Saturday, we were so freaked out, because we were not prepared then we were like, “how to start?” and “who intro?” and “what to say?”. Nvm la, die jiu die la. Just pass the shit and move on. “We are funny people so we can pull through”, quoted from DJ. Ra-Ra was like, “Wow, our group leader had so much faith in us!” I was laughing away when he said that.

Our turn next. Jialat. Just do it. I was speaking about the consequences and characteristics while the others acted and introduce their specific role. My eyes were trying its best to keep contact with the audience, specially the lecturers. I kept thinking about my emcee days. Just be natural, loud and clear. End. Thank you. I gave the lecturers’ corner one last look and I see Jeffery and Yong nodding their heads and saying “this one is good”, that smile on my face was un-hiddable[lala’s language].

After the whole session, Jeffery talked to me and Wa-Wa and he was filled with praises and wanted to know where our idea came from, Wa-Wa and I were so happy, we kept high-fiving. Pity V.V, DJ and Ra-Ra weren’t there to listen. We were pleased. AND WE DID IT!!!!! OH YEAH! WE DID IT!!!

 

Had lunch with the group, together with YanTing, LiMin, Rachel and Fernando. Was damn fun with them seriously, I can’t remember when was the last time I laughed so hard ever since school started. Serious, I kept teasing Fernando. OHOHOH!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY FERNANDO!!! It’s today right? Yeah. All the teasing is for fun sake ok? No offences, but your nickname stays. HAHA. Time flied when I was with them.
OK, say so much also never introduce my groupmates’ name properly:
DJ – David Jonathan, no, he is pure Chinese, made and bred in Singapore. My “crush”
V.V – Kelvin, the guy who didn’t sent the script. But it’s ok. Who cares? It’s over. That’s all that matters!:)
Ra-Ra – Rehman, the guy I’m closest with I guess, besides Wa-Wa. Very fun guy. Quite handsome too.
Wah-Wah – Anwah, KENJI, he looks like him in a certain photo la. He is the guy who accompanies me to Cheers and will help me pay first. My “husband”.

I know what you thinking…all GUYS, don’t anyhow ok, nth between any of us, just good friends who eat a macD and laugh like crazy. Besides them of course got, Yanting, Limin, Rachel and Fernando. I will upload photos of them ASAP. Wait and see.

Loves.
R told me to do the best in everything I could so that I won’t regret and thinking about, there is nothing much in life that I can ask for and I’m contented in everyway God had given me. I hope it stays the way it it though.

I wanted to start this post with a vulgarity, but I promised myself and God that I’m going to quit and Leslie is doing me a favour by counting how many times I used that word. Ok, reason why I wanted to say vulgar is, well, design school still rocks, but the project piling up is also as high as a rock. Man, but I’m still enjoying school.

Deadlines after deadline, assignments after assignments, projects after projects. No ending at all, till yesterday. I allowed myself to rest yesterday, and in this case, rest still means doing work but the more relaxing kind like doing research so, it’s basically just using the computer and reading :)

My cousin[Connie] said before that every exam in university is taking an A ’levels, then I guess every assignment in design school is like taking O ’levels. Not exaggerating, I’m serious, because TDES has no exams, we are graded accordingly to our assignments so each assignments are very important because the marks collated together. :(
I remembered tearing on Tuesday because there was an assignment to hand in the next day and I couldn’t get myself started because, I just couldn’t, like no matter where I start, it seems wrong. Evon, Sharon and Vanessa were there and they thought I was about to cry so they started comforting me, I felt so tired that day but nevertheless, I managed to hand in the assignment on time, thanks to Leslie and Jody who helped me a great lot.

The past week was not a very happy week. Really not a happy week just that I didn’t let my emotions take over me in tutorial. When Wednesday came, I felt really tired of everything, I poured all my sorrows to Sharon, I did not cry but I felt so tired of everything, school, friends, him and family. I realized in this process, one person whom I really forgotten was God and yes, I’m ashamed of myself. I kept almost all my worries to myself and it just fills up. I think this tired is very different from the kind when I was taking my O ‘levels. This tired has no tears, on the contrary, it made me want to carry on even if it was just me alone, something in there told me that I have to carry on. And I carried on, someone out there or someone in me is like giving me strength, letting me be strong and keep pushing me forward and every time I thought I was dead meat, it happens magically and everything will be back to normal. Is it God? It must be…

Ok, done posting. Got to get back to work, later still need go popular get some materials for my next assignments.
Just some reminder for myself:

1. Deadline: Monday, 4 black squares
2. Deadline: Tuesday, Colour composition board
3. Deadline: Wednesday, Composition Drawing, A3 size with shading
4. Drawing Essential: Tuesday, cancelled, Jeffery got Med. Appt